and the "coolest teacher in the world" award goes to...

only in california...read the full story after the jump, spoiler alert at the bottom of this page.

Field Trippin'
One high school teacher's account of a trip he didn't mean to take.

We were barely past MacArthur when I felt it beginning to take hold. It was a big Friday for me, taking 40 students on a walking field trip to our local bookstore, then a tour of the Community Center and, if there was enough time, a little sit-under-a-tree-and-read time for the students in the Plaza.

I was in my 10th year of teaching in the only alternative high school in the town of Sonoma. My primary task was engagement: get the kids understanding why knowledge is power and why they should give a shit, and then fill in the blanks as they appear.

At first I felt lightheaded, like I hadn't eaten anything or was out in the sun too long. Then I started noticing my legs. It felt like each step I took was propelling me up into the next. It was like I was walking on a brand-new track, only five times as springy. I noticed my whole body bouncing up and down. Something was amiss.

A few weeks before, a student named Max had left a screensaver depicting 12 tabs of Scooby-Doo windowpane acid on one of my classroom computers. I told him to do a research paper on Timothy Leary and quit being such an asshole. I think that's why he dosed me.

By the time I reached Chase Street, I had a pretty good awareness of what was happening. Some of the treetops were dancing in the heat and wind, and my mouth was extremely dry. I went straight to Max, who was walking about 20 feet behind me.

"How you feeling, Mr. Moss?" he said with a smirk.

"Max, this is by far the dumbest thing you've ever done. How'd you do it?" I asked.

"Coffee" he admitted.

"How much?" I inquired.

"Small drop, one to two doses, should keep you going for a while."

"Look, this is how it's going to go. I'm going to ride this out, and you're not going to tell anyone about it. Then you're going to be expelled and brought up on criminal charges for dosing your teacher. Finally, you are not going to tell anyone what you did as it will seriously jeopardize your outcome. Clear?" I was getting lightheaded again, but I could tell that the point was made.

"Yes, Mr. Moss" he responded.

I never did suspend Max. He became one of my best students, and is now studying to be a pharmacist at UC-Davis. Soon, he'll be dosing people for a living. Funny how life turns out that way.

via metro santa cruz